waiting

Waiting...Our story gets complicated and God is in the midst.  I am waiting.  Waiting on God. Yet is God waiting on me?  That is probably more accurate.  My first thought is NOT that there might need to be a change in me;  an adjustment of my heart, a tweek of my attitude, or a rearrangement of my priorities. No my first thought is that I must be waiting on God.  God is not ready, yet.  This is my thought.
However, in truth I am the one not ready.  I can't handle the job yet.  I can"t manage the situation.  I am not ready for the news.  I need to be more Christ-like.  Waiting...Waiting for God to change me.  Thankful that God does not leave me the same.  Waiting.

Above and Beyond

Does God go above and beyond in my life?  in yours?  If not, why?  Ephesians 3:20 tells me that  he is able to do more than I can imagine according to his power that is at work within me.  That power is the Holy Spirit.  Do I recognize the power?  Am I in touch with the power?  Do I even grasp the power?  I am not sure I do. Empty myself so I can be filled with "the power".  So, I think the question I really have is how do I become empty?  If God is going to go above and beyond the imaginable then I must loosen my grasp.  I hold onto what can be imagined.  My feet are stuck on this earth bound by the limits of my humanity.  God can do so much more....empty myself so His power can go beyond in me.  Let loose of my plans, dreams, intentions and allow God to do the immeasurable.  Uncurl my fingers from around how I think life should happen.
Letting go is scary. Emptying is unnerving.  Believing is hard.  I mean true believing, not just easy words that are said.  True believing, being empty, and letting God go above and beyond starts out hard, moves to unnerving and becomes amazing!
I don't know if God will, but I know He can! 

fragile

This week it has become evident to me that I am frail.  I am a fragile person.  Not just me, but humanity.  We are frail.  We are like dust in the wind.  I work so hard at "handling" life.  I work hard at being a worthy daughter of the King.  I work hard at being a good wife and mother.  And my hard work has shown me my frailty.  To be honest, I am a " pull me up by the boot straps" kind of gal.  One of the boot straps broke and revealed how very broken I am.  But what God shows me  in my frailty, is I can allow Him to be strong.  He whispered to me, "This is how I made you.  FRAGILE. in need.  Let me be all to you."  My spirit let out a long sigh.  A sigh of relinquishing, a sigh of weariness, a sigh of relief.  My God tenderly handles my frailty and I am so filled with gratitude.  (sigh)

remember

It is so easy to become discouraged, grumbling, whining even.  When life looks nothing like I want or takes to long.  I confess I struggle at worship and excel in whining.
God spoke to His children telling them they must remember.  He gave them specific tasks so that they would remember.  Remember who He is and what He had done for them.  I am so like them...forgetful.  I need to remember.  Remember God's faithfulness.  Remember who He is to me and how He has blessed me.  I have found it is much easier to worship when I remember.  Yet, remembering is an exercise of my will.  I must be intentional.  Intentionally turning my focus to remembering.  I remember His saving, loving, embracing, caring, protecting, listening, justice, mercy, grace through the years of my life.  May I never forget.  He is God.  The God of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob,and......me.