Matthew 5:8 ponderings

I have been wondering, thinking, musing, over Matthew 5:8 " Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God."   
 There is nothing about me that is pure.  I am made from dust (definitely not clean) and I will return to dust. 
The only purity I can lay claim to is that which Christ gives to me.  My daily, hourly, moment by moment washing of forgiveness.  Making me white as snow.  I have nothing pure to offer.  All that is of any worth is already from Christ.  He is the gift giver.  And what I might offer has been given by The Gift Giver, himself.
How selfish am I when I take what He gives and fail to give thanks? Obsessed with lies that say I am deserving.  I deserve nothing.  What I do deserve He does not give.  The pure in heart will see God.  I see the God of grace.  My heart is not pure, yet He is remaking me.  I see His grace.

"I can dare to give thanks in everything, because I can trust God for everything."-anne voskamp

"I can dare to give thanks in everything, because I can trust God for everything." -anne voskamp

When this statement hit my ears it grabbed my mind. It challenged my heart.  I continued to repeat the word "everything".  This long, ten letter word is the hinge point in my belief.  Simply, do I trust God for everything?
Ug!  I really detest these hard questions.  The ones that ask me to be brutally honest and more than likely I don't really want to know the answer to.  (You know the ones I mean)  When I turn this statement around I see how reliant giving thanks is on the trusting.  I trust, therefore, even in the hard I give thanks.  I love the word "dare".  It is a dare, a risk....Yet God risked everything on me...I want to risk everything, trust for everything, give thanks for everything.

Season of Humility

It seems like a long time since I have sat here reflecting.  My thoughts are simple.  My mind seems to swim at times with all that is happening and all that needs to happen.  Is this what I have reduced my days to?  Apparently.  UG!  This reality is ugly.  I am keenly aware of my "self" focus.
This season is filled with Humility.  The humility of our Lord coming from the heavenly realm to this dust trodden place.  The humility of Mary and Joseph's obedience.  The humility of those that came to a stable to worship amongst the animals.  I lack humility when I hurry through my day checking off my list, focused only on my agenda.  How many times can I use "me, my, and I"? 
Recently my father asked me "how concerned are you about God's Glory?"  Is this the key to humility?  Is God's Glory  more important than my own, my success, my accomplishments, my checks on the list of life? 
This is a question that I quickly say YES to, but am I only fooling myself?  God is not fooled by my easy answers.  May I learn to walk humbly with my God.

Cry of my heart

Lord, Might my heart break for what breaks yours.  It is so easy for mye to concentrate on the number of orphans here and around the world on Orphan Sunday.  But what about tomorrow?  What about next week?  Don't let me forget, get laxed or even lazy.  Move me.  Continue to make this my heart's cry.

familiar

I have been reading and re-reading Ps 139.  I am trying to memorize this whole chapter.  I was challenged to memorize it.  I am not good at a number of things two of which are memorizing and turning down a challenge.  So here I am.  I am asking God to hammer this passage into my brain and as He is doing this He is reshaping my heart.  Vs. 3 of chapter 139 says that God is familiar with all my ways.  "Familiar" that word stopped me, it is changing me.  The God of the universe is familiar  with me and all my quirks, oddities, and what makes me, me.  Familiar takes on the meaning of understanding , able to predict, not surprised by, or knowing.  God is understanding of me, able to predict my every thought and movement, not surprised by me and knows me better then I know myself.  He is familiar with all my ways.  Yet still loves me, excepts me and calls me his own.  Ps 139:1-3  " O, Lord you have searched me and you know me.  You know when I sit and when I rise.  You preceive my thoughts from a far.  You discern my going out and my lying down.  You are familiar with all my ways."

what you ask

You are asking for more of me.  Do I choose stress or do I choose to look past it at you?  Does my gaze catch yours? Do my eyes constantly avert so I see the dirt I am standing in? If I would only look up, I would see love, compassion, acceptance in your eyes.  The dirt is more appealing some days filled with the lies of shame and not good enough.  But you ,Oh God, see right through me.  At times painful, yet freeing.  Wash the dirt off with gentle hands and you wrap me in love.  You are asking more of me and in that I receive more of you.  Give this away you whisper.  Reach out, touch one in the dirt and bring them to me.  Come receive what I have to give.  You beckon me.

my "me"ness

How is it that at every turn life ends up about me?  My "me"ness is seeping from every pore of my being.  In the early hours of the morning I lay in bed talking to my God, my mind and heart focused on Him.  As I slide out from under the covers and gravity grabs my toes as they touch the carpet the "me"ness shows up.  My focus is so very short sighted.  My schedule, my wants, likes, dislikes, desires, even my worries, my concerns and discomforts.  My "me"ness is not pretty.  I desire Him, but have a hard time letting go of me.  Putting my "me"ness on the alter, sacrificing all that I am.  moment by moment.  These are the transforming moments.  When I am reminded that it is not about me at all.  Transformation in my life seems to happen in small bits.  My God is patient and lovingly transforms me moment by moment.  To Him be all the glory!