Wednesday, September 28, 2011

silence

When God seems silent....is it because i am not quiet enough?  Am I too busy to hear the "still small voice"?
I want to hear, but I don't.  I want to feel that closeness, but I don't.  WHY   It is not something I can replicate.  I can't make it happen.  I wait, pray, wonder, and wait some more.  Am I so proudful that I think something I might DO will move God?  wow, adjust my attitude.  God is the almighty.  At his beckoning the waves and wind obey.  How is it that I think I might beckon God to show up for me.  No wonder God seems silent.  perhaps he is waiting for me to get a clearer glimps of who he is and who I really am.
My pride has silenced God...He wants nothing to do with it.  Pride creeps in like a spider in the chill of  Autum.  I don't notice it is there until a web is hanging in the corner of my room.  I don't notice my pride until I can no longer hear the sweet voice of my Savior.  Fall cleaning seems inorder.  The cobwebs of pride need to be cleaned.  Replaced by the joy of thanksgiving.  My God is so patient with me.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Who Am I

This new journey in life has thrown me into a spiritual journey.  Isn't that how it works?  All things spiritual.  The question I ask is Who am I?  Who am I that God would "show up" for me.  All those years of Sunday school, youth group, FCA camp  do I really understand what Christ's sacrifice means? His love?   I know who I am, who I have been....will God show himself, act on behalf of one like me.
Do I believe that God already sees me...He knows me, loves me.  Can I really grasp that?  The" why " question can only be explained with the "love " answer.   Can I wrap my simple mind around that.  My journey into simple faith challenges me to.  To hold on to Christ's love no matter who I see myself to be and allow that love to transform me.  That is where God shows up.

Monday, September 19, 2011

If

"if" Is this a word of doubt? The man in Mark 9:14-24 begs Jesus to heal his son If he can.  Jesus answers him with a question. "if you can?"  Jesus goes on to say that Everything is possible for him who believes.
Do I believe?  My heart shouts the same words the man in this passage proclaims. "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"  How many prayers do I pray using "if"  If you will... if you can... if you are glorified... If it is in your will.  Do I use "if "as a disclaimer.  The just-in-case-my-faith-is-not-big-enough word.  God can do all things.  I know He may not choose to, but He can.  Am I bold enough to believe or is there an "if" buried somewhere there?  Help me overcome my "if"

Monday, September 12, 2011

Open hands

I look down, turn my hands over and slowly begin to uncurl my fingers. Palms up, fingers out stretched,  this I remind myself is how I want to be with all that God offers.  I want to receive it with open hands.  Asking Him, to use it, use me in whatever way He would be glorified.  I will be traveling to Uganda in March. Open handed....serving and loving orphans...open handed.  As the plans form in my mind my fingers begin to grasp at how I will be able to afford the trip, adoption on the horizon.  I am gripping tightly now clenched fists around the plans, expectations, fears that I have.  Open handed, simple faith is alluding me at this moment. 
I remember the price that was paid for me.  Is that statement of ultimate love not enough?  As that realization floods my soul my hands loosen their grip.  All that He has to offer is for my good, out of his love, which came at a price.  Simple faith is all i need.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Sigh...

Sigh...I am sitting for the first time this week.  Or at least it feels like it.  How is my Time related to my faith?  I have had very little time this week.  I have rushed here and there and when I wasn't rushing, my mind was.  I can't hear the still small voice of my Savior when I am in a rush.  When Life is hurried I am missing the simplicity of the calling of my King.  God requires me to walk humbly, to love my neighbor as my self and to have no Other God's before HIM, but no where have I read that I had better hurry while I am at it.  "Priorities!"  my mind is screaming.  As I strive for simple faith what do my priorities look like?  Ouch, that question stings a bit.  Perhaps in my hurry, I have become too important.  Do all these activities make me "someone"?  Humility is required (Micah 6:8)  "Humbly help me to see you, forgive my attitude of hurried importance."  I pray today.....sigh.

Friday, September 2, 2011

Show me

I wonder what truly pleases the heart of my God?  and I stumbled upon upon Mich 6:8 "He has showed you, O man, what is good.  And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."  That hit me right between the eyes!  As I reread this my eyes stopped at required.  I don't know about you but that says to me I don't have a choice.  It is not an option.  I better get on it....but how?  I am not sure, but i think walking humbly will lead to acting justly and loving mercy.  Humility is far from simple.  Humility is taking a close look, an honest look at who I am. It is not pretty!  Yet in the light of my Savior I am free to be nothing, to be no one of importance, and to be the daughter of the King.  Humility is a daily, moment by moment struggle.  I want to feel worth while.  I want to be as important as the next person.  I whisper "look at me."
 My God whispers back that He sees me, has never lost sight of me.  "Humble yourself, this I require," He prompts.  "Show me..." I cry.